The first step in the art of dating is probably one of the most difficult to perfect. Hitting on a potential partner is an act that requires charisma, gut, and a solid amount of social skills.
One thing that I know for sure, hitting on someone is difficult. Doing it on the internet is a lot easier. On the internet, there are less social rules. Technically you can say whatever you want and if people don’t like it, oh well! There is less fear of rejection because you are not looking that person in the face.
Grindr (a social/dating app geared towards gay men) is a hot bed of bad social skills. People who do not care if the other person responds, or even if they are interested constantly send inappropriate pictures or phrases. Men seem to care a lot less about the opposite persons feelings online. Common are one word messages like “hot” or “horny?” that are used as replacements of icebreakers.
So why is it so much easier for some people to skip all social cues on the internet? Skipping hello, skipping how are you, skipping the things in common, and going straight to the end. At first shocking, at times hilarious, it is interesting that people seem freer to talk to people online.
One thing that is rare to me is being hit on in person. Living in rural Kentucky I don’t meet a lot of gay men looking for a relationship. Having yet experienced an in person pick up line I am not at liberty to discuss successful and unsuccessful lines (Maybe later). I can however talk about the fear that comes with trying to pick someone up.
One of the biggest fears a person can have is rejection. I know if I see a person I find attractive the last thing I am thinking about is coming on to them. I always assume that if I were to attempt to show somebody I am interested in, they are automatically going to reject me.
This seems somewhat hasty, but I feel like there are many other people with the same fears as me. I do not understand why so many people are in fear of rejection. I know if I were to be hit on but I was not interested I would politely say “no thank you.” Also if I were to hit on a person and they said “no thank you” I would be fine with that, it’s the fear of embarrassment I possess.
Do you fear rejection when you like somebody? Do you find it hard to hit on somebody because they might say no? Comment and let me know what you think!