This post was originally posted on Queerky.net, a blog I wrote for last year. You can find that post here.
The topic of dating and relationships is probably one of my favorite topics to discuss! Why you ask? Well mostly because I absolutely love to talk about topics I have no experience in. Sarcasm aside, it has gotten to the point where instead of trying to find a relationship myself I do nothing but observe what other people do in theirs. If there is one thing I have learned from watching people and their relationships. It’s that no one knows what they want.
A very popular app in the gay male world is the app Grindr. Grindr and I have a very love hate relationship, it loves me and I hate it. Grindr is an app that’s been around for quite some time; essentially it’s an app where the user can view a profile featuring one picture and a small description of the person you are viewing. Based off of that the user has the option to message them or not. Best off all it shows you people in your area and tells you’re their distance dependent on your location. Now this in the beginning doesn’t seem very bad, it appears to be an easy convenient way to find other gay guys in rural areas. But the reasons people use the app are evident from the beginning.
Now I am in no way saying there is anything wrong with hooking up, or saying that I am innocent from such acts myself. However if I am casually surfing the app to find friends or meet new people it is most definite that I will be bombarded with messages such as “Looking?” or “How big?” And I’m sorry but when did it become socially acceptable to send me a picture of your joystick as a way to introduce yourself? If I were to walk down the street and you wanted to say hello would you instantly whip it out? The biggest thing that gets me is half the time, when I get these messages they are from people who have listed that they want to “find friends” or get a relationship.
I know I am currently on a soap box and pretty much ranting about my community; but I think it’s about time somebody said something about this. Do I blame Grindr? Of course not. Can I blame the entire LGBT community? Not now, it’s apparent that even the straight community is almost the same way. With apps such as Tinder and Hot or Not the trends are starting to travel. The only real thing I can say is that if you plan to find a relationship (which seems to becoming outdated) Grindr is not the place for it. I’m not saying it’s totally impossible, but your chances are very slim.
What ever happened to meeting somebody, becoming friends, and then asking them out on a date? It took me 19 years before a guy actually had the nerve to ask me out on a date. That’s just sad. I really can’t wait to see how the future generations date and meet each other. We are obviously entering a new age in dating and I hope that I will be able to keep up. But I urge you if you have Grindr to delete it for 1 month and just let fate decide for you if it’s time for you to be in a relationship of not.
Do you agree with my opinion? Let me know by commenting below!